News from Iraq

MajorBrown
Originally uploaded by BlockHD57.

Happy day! I got a call from Rich today from Baghdad letting me know that he has arrived and all is well. It was so wonderful to hear his voice and to sense the energy in his tone. I got the feeling that he is in good spirits due to the fact that he had me laughing in the very first minute of our conversation. "I have some good news," he said. "Great, what is it?" I replied thinking that the orders were messed up and he is coming home sooner than planned. His reply, "I just saved a lot of money by switching to GEICO!" Yep, this is the man I love. What a goofball!

I am so thankful to have heard from him, so thankful to know that he has access to a satellite phone, and so thankful that he has logged on to his computer and Internet is working well too. So it looks as if there are all kinds of communication sources in our favor. THIS will help make the time go by much faster.

So he is over there and I am over here. Separated by thousands of miles but still connected and each attempting to be a rock for the other to depend on. I am just glad that my rock has a sense of humor about him!

And in honor of Rich's arrival and start of his tour I wanted to share this picture of the two of us with him in uniform. It was taken on August 31st. The first person to figure out what is "wrong" or outdated in this picture wins a prize. (Rich, you can't play cause I am quite confident you know). Any guesses?

The Trials and Tribulations of the Engaged Perfectionist

Yeah, I know. I have not gotten into the groove of being a serial blogger yet. Has it really been this long since my last post? Engaged life is GREAT! It is fabulous to know that I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It is fabulous to look down on my hand and be reminded of this fact. It is fabulous to get a bunch of oohs and ahhhs when people see "our" ring for the first time. But you know what? It stinks when someone asks me a question like, "have you set a date?" or "where are you going to have the wedding?" and I don't have an answer to give them. Truth is, not much wedding planning has been going on.

I guess I have held out with the planning because as with any project that I undertake I am not so sure just where to start. You see, I am a perfectionist. And a rule of thumb for any perfectionist is to not start something that you cannot guarantee will be flawless. And because I want to do things right, I have to gather about me the "right" resources: friends, books, magazines, notebooks, and supplies. Funny thing about me is that I can spend a great deal of time THINKING about how I want to do things and PREPARING to do things, it is just in the ACTION area where I am slow to start. . . because. . well, I don't want to be wrong. So, I have purchased a number of Bride magazines, I have talked to a number of friends about their experiences, I have even bought a special notebook and a special wedding pen I want to use for all of my wedding note taking. But over the weekend, Rich and I did take a step in the right direction. . . we talked.

Rich and I had a good conversation about our wedding thoughts; what we want; what we don't want; where; when; and a little bit of the who and the how. So besides feeling prepared and feeling set up for success, I guess I also needed a bit more information from him, and maybe I needed him to get a bit more information out of me. A wedding, in my mind, is a collective experience and celebration, and I certainly want Rich to feel like he is part of this experience and celebration. It is about US, not me. And the challenge we have before us is that Rich and I will be thousands of miles apart during this planning process. We got a fair amount accomplished in the conversation this weekend, but I am envisioning many more conversations via email to come.

So now I am a lot closer to ACTING than what I once was. . . now that I have a pen and everything! And believe it or not, I do have a plan for this weekend. My task: to case out a few nearby towns and hunt down the PERFECT church and reception location. My thought is that if Rich and I can iron out the WHEN and WHERE questions first, the rest will fall into place. . . PERFECTLY, of course.

Saying Goodbye

Ugh. What a difficult and heart-wrenching day. Rich left for Fort Bragg this morning. Samantha and I took him to the airport, smothered him with kisses, and watched him walk off beyond the security checkpoint to his plane. Neither one of us is sure when we will see him again, as the Army has not made that part of his mission in Iraq known. Yes, I was extremely sad to see him go-- especially given all that has happened to us these past two weeks and how deep our relationship has grown. But as I said to him earlier that morning, "we have been preparing for this day from the very beginning of our relationship." I knew the day of our first date-- and now that I think about it, even before then-- that Rich was going to Iraq. And as hard as this year apart is going to be, in some ways, I am glad it is finally upon us. It has been this D-Day looming over our heads. It has been this unknown that neither one of us could never clearly understand. But now it is here. No more wondering, worrying, or questioning. It is here and I am willing to embrace it and to finally start getting through it.

The most difficult part of the experience of saying goodbye was watching Samantha, Rich's seven year-old daughter, cope with the emotional pain of seeing her dad leave. To experience this through her eyes and her cognitive ability truly got me choked up. I am so proud of Rich and Samantha for the courage, strength, and love that they displayed as they said their goodbyes. Sure, it will be a tough year for me, but it will also be a tough year for the rest of Rich's family. . . yet we are not alone: we have each other.

As Sam and I left the airport, we were comforted by an older couple that watched their son board that same plane for the very same mission. At that moment, the whole world opened up to me as I realized that I am far from being alone. That in some way, I am connected with the countless other men, women, children, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, etc. that have watched their loved ones go off to war. And more than that, I am experiencing a part of history. . .a significant part of American and world history. Because of my love for Rich and my connection to this war, I am no longer some far off spectator who would rather not be bothered by the politics and the details of it all. I am invested. I care. And someday, I will be able to share this story with future generations who wonder what life was like "back then" and how a war, one that was fought so far from home, impacted the lives of people back in the United States.

So now as I type this entry from my office at Cornell, I am hearing the chimes from our clock tower play "As Time Goes By". Hmmmmmm. Fitting for today, I suppose. Time DOES go by, time WILL go by. I just pray it goes by quickly. I miss you already, Rich.