The Trials and Tribulations of the Engaged Perfectionist

Yeah, I know. I have not gotten into the groove of being a serial blogger yet. Has it really been this long since my last post? Engaged life is GREAT! It is fabulous to know that I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It is fabulous to look down on my hand and be reminded of this fact. It is fabulous to get a bunch of oohs and ahhhs when people see "our" ring for the first time. But you know what? It stinks when someone asks me a question like, "have you set a date?" or "where are you going to have the wedding?" and I don't have an answer to give them. Truth is, not much wedding planning has been going on.

I guess I have held out with the planning because as with any project that I undertake I am not so sure just where to start. You see, I am a perfectionist. And a rule of thumb for any perfectionist is to not start something that you cannot guarantee will be flawless. And because I want to do things right, I have to gather about me the "right" resources: friends, books, magazines, notebooks, and supplies. Funny thing about me is that I can spend a great deal of time THINKING about how I want to do things and PREPARING to do things, it is just in the ACTION area where I am slow to start. . . because. . well, I don't want to be wrong. So, I have purchased a number of Bride magazines, I have talked to a number of friends about their experiences, I have even bought a special notebook and a special wedding pen I want to use for all of my wedding note taking. But over the weekend, Rich and I did take a step in the right direction. . . we talked.

Rich and I had a good conversation about our wedding thoughts; what we want; what we don't want; where; when; and a little bit of the who and the how. So besides feeling prepared and feeling set up for success, I guess I also needed a bit more information from him, and maybe I needed him to get a bit more information out of me. A wedding, in my mind, is a collective experience and celebration, and I certainly want Rich to feel like he is part of this experience and celebration. It is about US, not me. And the challenge we have before us is that Rich and I will be thousands of miles apart during this planning process. We got a fair amount accomplished in the conversation this weekend, but I am envisioning many more conversations via email to come.

So now I am a lot closer to ACTING than what I once was. . . now that I have a pen and everything! And believe it or not, I do have a plan for this weekend. My task: to case out a few nearby towns and hunt down the PERFECT church and reception location. My thought is that if Rich and I can iron out the WHEN and WHERE questions first, the rest will fall into place. . . PERFECTLY, of course.