Saying Goodbye

Ugh. What a difficult and heart-wrenching day. Rich left for Fort Bragg this morning. Samantha and I took him to the airport, smothered him with kisses, and watched him walk off beyond the security checkpoint to his plane. Neither one of us is sure when we will see him again, as the Army has not made that part of his mission in Iraq known. Yes, I was extremely sad to see him go-- especially given all that has happened to us these past two weeks and how deep our relationship has grown. But as I said to him earlier that morning, "we have been preparing for this day from the very beginning of our relationship." I knew the day of our first date-- and now that I think about it, even before then-- that Rich was going to Iraq. And as hard as this year apart is going to be, in some ways, I am glad it is finally upon us. It has been this D-Day looming over our heads. It has been this unknown that neither one of us could never clearly understand. But now it is here. No more wondering, worrying, or questioning. It is here and I am willing to embrace it and to finally start getting through it.

The most difficult part of the experience of saying goodbye was watching Samantha, Rich's seven year-old daughter, cope with the emotional pain of seeing her dad leave. To experience this through her eyes and her cognitive ability truly got me choked up. I am so proud of Rich and Samantha for the courage, strength, and love that they displayed as they said their goodbyes. Sure, it will be a tough year for me, but it will also be a tough year for the rest of Rich's family. . . yet we are not alone: we have each other.

As Sam and I left the airport, we were comforted by an older couple that watched their son board that same plane for the very same mission. At that moment, the whole world opened up to me as I realized that I am far from being alone. That in some way, I am connected with the countless other men, women, children, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, etc. that have watched their loved ones go off to war. And more than that, I am experiencing a part of history. . .a significant part of American and world history. Because of my love for Rich and my connection to this war, I am no longer some far off spectator who would rather not be bothered by the politics and the details of it all. I am invested. I care. And someday, I will be able to share this story with future generations who wonder what life was like "back then" and how a war, one that was fought so far from home, impacted the lives of people back in the United States.

So now as I type this entry from my office at Cornell, I am hearing the chimes from our clock tower play "As Time Goes By". Hmmmmmm. Fitting for today, I suppose. Time DOES go by, time WILL go by. I just pray it goes by quickly. I miss you already, Rich.